If i could tell you one thing...
I'm Elliee. This is the place where no one knows you, and you know no one. The place to be free.<3



i hate the feeling of wanting to cry.
for no reason.
makes me feel pathetic.






"God made coke, God made pepsi, God made Zac Efron so fucking sexy."


there has to be someone out there that cares..
there has to be.


So Zac's in my state
& doing interviews.
i'd VERY much like to find him right now.. :(


Holy crap. Havent bloggged in forever. So im blogging noww q:

im in ze car. Gonna go shopping!!

ahhh! You know the zac efron movie charlie st cloud?
i won a free early screening along with 10 other people!
havent gotten an email on details yet :/
so excited though!!

ha. When i think of the past, i feel so stupid.
i cannot believe i was so blinded by him.
i woulda done anything for him.
odd to think that i thought i was in love.
but who knows.
he could have been telling he loves me
while telling other chicks he liked them.
i mean, its a possibility.
i was witnessing it with him and 2 diff girls.

least its over, right?:)




“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are.

Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be-

and when they're not, we cry.”





why do suddenly feel so lonely in the world?
there's everyone around me.
but it feels like its just me.
hah, just gotta put on a smile,
& act like everything's okay, right?
that's the way it usually works.
you can't tell anyone how you feel.
like they even care. they have their own stuff going on.
but this feeling sucks. thinking that ur friends have moved on
and don't really care about you either.
but what can you do?
nothing.


Don't understand how he could still be on my mind.


Really in the mood to write fluffy stuff.
but i just can't.
i open word & it just stays blank..
whats going onnnn.


I'm in heaven,.



his bro is cute too.
AH!!!!!!!!!!!!
if only Vanessa was there.. hahaha.



I wonder if i texted no one for a week if anyone would notice & start caring. Haahahahah bull shit.


So... Since im in the car & have nothing to do..
Nothing better than to blog, right? :)
Havent in a while either..

Hmm..
Whats new? Nada really.
Been on a roll w/ my writing lately! So happy about that.
Broke up with my boyfriend last night.
He was starting to annoy me cuz he would get mad
Everytime i talk to ej, j, or any of my other best guy friends.
He got mad for me going to lunch with my group of friends last saturday too.
Eh, whatever. All good.

Watched hsm3 today.
Zac & vanessa are so freaking cute!!!!!!!
I hope they get married one day. Thatd be a dream come true.. :)
Nothing else to really say..



"People say you never realize what you have until it’s gone. Truth of the matter is, you always knew what you had. You just never thought you’d lose it"

This is too true too.


Align Centeri don't know what i ever saw in you.


"I'd been in love with the same boy for five years.

We'd been good friends, but I'd never told him how I felt. When prom came, I didn't have a date, and I thought he would be going with another girl.

He showed up at my door on the night and silently handed me a note that said, "I love you."

AWH, i wish stuff like this would happen for me.
Reading LGMH & GMH.
LGMH always sets are standards high.
That's what sucks.


sometimes, i wish i had a different group of friends.
where they would actually want to hang out with me
outside of school & invite me to do so.



me:heey!
you:hi
me:whats up?
you:nothing.
me:fun? haha.
you:eh.
me:how are you?
you:good.
me:cool.. plans this weekend?
you:idk yet.

really? if you don't wanna talk to me, tell me that,
or just don't even text back.
don't fucking waste my time with a boring conversation.
its annoying as fuck.
do you want me to do that to you too?
how bout not even talk to you at all... shit.


it's only a one way road...


wow.
so bummed out...
went shopping today & i was in hollister
& an employee offered me a job
as one of those models.
but i had to be 17.
mother efffing ayyyyyy!!!
one more year.
hopefully i can have that chance again.
ha.

applied at Panda Express ha.
no way in hell am i getting that job xD


i can never get you to feel that way bout me
the way you feel about her.
but why do i still even care..


Its been a year, already..
Today was one of the happiest days, a year ago..


him:I'm sorry..
me:what for?
him:the way i acted when we dated..
me:what made you think of this?
him:idk!? but i was a dick.
me:oh. well that was the past. doesn't matter anymore..
him:yeah it does, to me.
me:why?
him:idk..

way to have a reason, ej..
that makes your sorry waaaay more promising..
its too late for sorry's..
the damage has already been done.


Love how i have my own shit going on.
Then i have to help 5 other people about their problems...


PHX SUNS FOREVER! <3

Even if we lost the series, we had a really great run.
So proud of them. We went very far :)
Next year, though.
We'll get the mother effin Lakers.
We almost had it this season.
They don't deserve to go to the finals
or even maybe get a championship.
Especially Kobe...
Nash, though, is a different.
He deserves it.
The Suns deserve it.
We'll get this next season!
Just watch..


I feel lonely..
Everyones hanging out with someone,
When im stuck at home.


gotta remember to write anything &
everything in every paper star i make.

Jed's song for me.

i'm filipino, she's viet,
i'm so glad, that we met,
she goes to skyline high school,
she think i'm really really cool,

she used to think i hate her,
but she knows now that i love her,
i don't know what i'd do without her,
asian like ching chong chinky chink chinger

don't know if she could ever be,
fully asian cuz she has white friends,
but i know for sure that there's one thing,
i'll love her till the end,

cuz she's the pho to bowl,
she's the straw to my boba,
she's the sushi to my roll,
don't want our friendship to be ovaa,

you're my bestest asian friend,
our eyes are slanted like they bend,
but we don't care cuz we're asian,
if you insult us your life will end,

her name's elenee,
her name's elenee,
not e-lay-nee,
her name's elenee.

i get a's because i'm asian,
except for elenee, she's a bee-sian,
her boyfriend is dillon denzer,
i stay quiet so i don't offend her,

just kidding, he's alright,
besides the fact, that he's white,
if your parents found out he wouldn't pass,
then your parents would kick your.. butt,

don't know if she could ever be,
fully asian cuz she has white friends,
but i know for sure that there's one thing,
i'll love her till the end,

cuz she's the pho to bowl,
she's the straw to my boba,
she's the sushi to my roll,
don't want our friendship to be ovaa,

you're my bestest asian friend,
our eyes are slanted like they bend,
but we don't care cuz we're asian,
if you insult us your life will end,


awh, thanks for helping, B! <3
you rock :D
it means alot.


Holy shit.
The Suns & Lakers game was CRAZY.
Tied 101 and 5 effing seconds left,
if lakers didn't have the last ball,
we would have won. DAMN.


so.
im sitting in my room.
watching the suns game.
& crying.
this is fucking ridiculous.
told my mom about my d on the final,
& she yells at me for not trying.
when she doesn't fucking know how hard im trying in this class.
i wanted to fucking yell at her back.
& tell her she didn't know shit. but everytime i try, i wanna cry.

but the worst was when i texted a couple people.
and my best friend didn't even text back.
but the person he is with right now did.
and he shouldn't even care.
so much for a best friend.
im there for him. no matter fucking what.
and he can't be there for me for once.
honestly, this has been going on for too long.
but i can't do anything to change how he's my best friend.
that's just how it is.
whether i like it or not...

no one cares.
no one cares about anyone else but themselves.
why can't i just let that fully sink in yet?



This is the most adorable thing in the world<3



dayum.
summer '10
not really goin anywhere this summer.
probably vegas?
great way to end the school year was going to Taco Bell
with 2 of the Team Glow members xD & Tay!
Ej made up the group.
So, he's Shadow? i think.
Hunt is Bullseye haha.
& I'm rogue or something. haha.
but yeah, it was awesome.
but i was worried my mom would catch me the whole time -_-
sooo. i think imma be bored this summer?
ha.
drinkin the rest of my drink, then idk what...


i wish i knew what to tell you to help you get through this.
but i'm going through the same thing with you.. and you don't know it...



Fuck yes we owned! 115-106
HELL YEAH!




no one cares about anyone else but themselves.

thats how it's always been.
that's how it will always be.


high school

can change things..

apparently, thats what happened to me and you.
we were great friends.
but in the beginning of this year,
you started slipping away, & you were with new people.
now, you hardly even talk to me.
it sucks.
but its not like you care.
it's all high school.. right?


No one means alot to me, as much as you do.
That's the way it is.
That's the way its always been.
And that's the way it will always be.
Even if its not the same way for you.



dayummm, can't wait. :)
mann, this weekends already great.
watch new moon with my cousins last night xD
i have my recital and family party tonight.
its gonna be great. :D



Oh yeaaah,
was with J, her bf & mine last night.
it was pretty amazing. :)
went to the talent show.
but didn't even go watch it haha.
just chilled outside of school. :)
but it was a great night.


Mm, this weekend, & the next are gonna come by so fast.
i just know it.
after all that waiting for it,
it's gonna be gone in a blink of an eye.
Gotta make the most of it,
with my amazing family & friends<3
i'm so stoked,
& everything has fell into place.
I'm so happy :)
this is amazing. :)


Sooooo, im sitting in bed.
been awake for the past 45 minutes. :(
can't sleep. & its 4 in the morning.
this is what i get for sleeping early.
i was tired as efffff.
anywysss,
talking to B :)
which is really awsome & she's really awesome :)
& its A's bday today. YAY! :D
Gonna get him a butterfingerrrrrs cuz he loves em :)
mkay,
gonna do whatever.
should i shower @ 5 or my regular time?


05.05.10 <3



Awhhh, so theres this new boy,
and he's pretty cool. :)
not really like any other ones either actually.
but i like it.
ha. :)
hopefully things will go good?
bday in like 2 weeeeeks? :D

hmwrk suuuucksssss.
someone rang the doorbell & i was scared to open it
since im only by myself at home.
but what if it was something delivered from my cousin that bought stuff for me!? :O





woww, guess who i've talked to today?
C.
man. i actually didn't think he was gonna text me back.
but we're talking.
i really missed him.
& i told you that he would blame it on me.
he did.
ha.
but i dont care about that.
its nice talking to him again.
as friends and yeah. :)
i hope nothing screws it up.
but thats on his side.
ha.

great day.
laughed a shit load in spanish.
it was amazing. :)

watched 17 again when i got home. :)


& that's a quote from it. :) ^ pretty much ha.


& there are the moments where i wish we were close to each other again
to tell each other everything,
& mean something to each other so much again.
:(
why can't we be like that again?
i miss it all.

but when i dont pay attention, this feeling isn't here.
i'm so happy with everything now.
why must i feel this way when i need someone like you again?
i want to be independent, & not have to lean on anyone.
especially the part where i miss you.
i don't want to. at all.

helllllllllo :)

i haven't blogged in a while! hah.
mmm, lifes pretty great.
birthday's in like 3 weeks? :D
purtyyy excited :D
hah,
except for the fact that i feel best friendless.
oh boo. :( ha.
K and i aren't talking as much really.
EJ & I are eh, we don't talk that much either.
H is the closest person to my best friend.
:)
i'm happy for that.
but yeah.
hmm.
i'm excited for eclipse.
i miss C.
which is bad.
i wish he would just talk to me.
but we can't all get what we want, right?
little bastard.. :) ha..
i bet you, one day during the summer,
he'll text me.
hmm. whats there to say?
nadaa. :)
anywaysss. ha.
ummm.
pictures that i love the sayings?! or whatever. :)








mm, first one, thats a phobia for me. 2nd one, i just wanna see if its real the next time it happens. 3rd, thats mostly true for me. i guess. used to be at least. but i jsut love reading now. whether i need to be away from my pain or not, i'm just in a different world, away from this one with all the big problems we all have.


Good news. :)
Suns owned the blazers tonight!

& i was sitting on my bed, watching the game & i was texting ej. & thought,when the hell did he start caring again.
I think its ridiculous actually, but whatever.
Then i thought, when the hell did i end up so happy with my life?
Idk how, but i love it. <3